Faith as an Anchor in Grief

2020 Reflections – Part 4 of 5

When I think about everything I’ve walked through in life, my grief, one truth stands out: my faith has been my anchor. It’s what steadied me when the grief felt like it might pull me under.

That’s something I learned early — and it’s a gift my mother gave me.

The Foundation She Built

From a young age, my mom made sure I knew about God. I believed in Him long before I fully understood the depth of that belief. Over the years, that faith carried me through challenge after challenge — including her passing.

What people sometimes call my “strength” is, in reality, God’s grace. It’s not that I don’t feel pain; it’s that I trust I won’t be consumed by it.

Moments That Reminded Me

One night, long before she passed, I was telling my mom about a challenge I was facing. She listened and then said, “When I struggle with these types of challenges, I went to Psalms 3 and reflected on it”.

It was such a tender moment, one I’ll never forget. It felt like she was passing me a piece of her own spiritual armor.

After she was gone, I found myself returning to that scripture — not just reading it, but sitting with it, letting it steady my heart.

Faith and Memories Work Together

As a grief counselor, I’ve often encouraged clients to write down the memories that surface — even the small ones. These memories can be a calming reminder of the life you shared with your loved one.

Over time, you may find yourself with a journal full of moments: the inside jokes, the shared meals, the quiet afternoons. It becomes more than a collection of stories — it becomes a memorial. Something you can return to when you need to feel connected, and a way to ensure those details aren’t lost to time.

For me, faith holds the hope of seeing my loved ones again, and memories hold the gift of keeping them close in the here and now.

If You’re Leaning on Faith in Grief

• Return to familiar words – Scriptures, prayers, or readings that have comforted you before.

• Let others carry you – Allow faith communities or trusted friends to pray for you or with you.

• Be honest with God – Grief can bring hard questions. It’s okay to bring them into prayer.

  
  

Meaning Making in Grief

In grief work, author and grief expert David Kessler often talks about the idea of finding meaning after loss.

Meaning doesn’t minimize pain or make a loss acceptable — instead, it helps us live with it.

Meaning-making invites us to ask:

• What did this person’s life and love teach me?

• How can I carry forward the values, lessons, or faith they modeled for me?

• What can I build, give, or nurture in their honor?

For me, that meaning often shows up through my faith — trusting that even loss can become a place where grace still lives. Finding meaning doesn’t erase the ache, but it transforms it into purpose, connection, and sometimes even peace.

Final Thought: Grief may shake you, but faith can steady you. For me, it has been the thread holding me together when everything else felt like it was unraveling.